Monday, October 27, 2008

Wreck Of The Day....

So... I must say today I am torn between the feelings of 2 emotions:

1. School-girl giddiness
2. Heartbreak that seeps into my very core

As much as I would love to take the first one and leave the rest of it behind, the raw emotion somehow ends up swallowing me, slowly. As you've probably noticed from the past couple posts, the hurt I've been feeling isn't new. It's been trailing me for a couple years now and every once in a while it shows it's ugly self. These are the times I take to reflect on the person I was in high school, the person I became after and who I am trying to be right now.

I was currently introduced to some new novels written by the author: Traci Hunter Abramson.
The first couple she wrote were made into a series about a girl who witness's the death of her boyfriend who is an undercover cop. She is put into the Witness Protection Program and has to assume a new identity and start a new life. She then encounters problems and experiences that force her to keep assuming new identities and she kind of... loses herself along the way. I feel like that is what I have been doing. I lost the person I was in high school. I liked her.
She was pretty cool. She had the strongest testimony, she was fiercely loyal to the people she loved and she knew that the whole world was at her reach.
I want to be that person again. I'm going to be that person again. I'm broken right now.... But I'll slowly put myself back together.






On top of feeling this emotion as I began the day, I made the drive from Fairview to work, only to find out that 2 of my co-workers have been laid off due to the sucky economy. One of them being a really good friend. She was going to quit at the end of December to do her student teaching anyway but we still thought we had a couple more months with her. She was one of coolest girls I have ever met and I will really miss her. Whit, I love you! So the emotion only grew stronger to which I didn't think it could.



There was then the school-girl giddiness emotion that would surprise me every once in a while. I have to say part of this was due to the fact that 2 of my really good friends and I went to High School Musical 3 Friday night! Yes, we did. And we paid full price! It was totally worth it! I'm going to admit that I loved it! Not only was Zac Effron the cutest high school senior I have ever seen in my life and I got to stare at him for an hour and a half, but it was topped off with laughter, love and brought back some really good memories of mine from my senior year! The night was only made better by going to Aubrey and Dee's to eat dinner followed by going to my place and downloading the soundtrack!





Another part of the school-girl giddiness was the time spent with my family. Even though I hear non-stop how I should stop coming home on the weekends and get a life.... I still love going home! I love spending time with my mom and dad! My dad and I grow closer each time I go down! Sunday night, he and I decided to take a trip down to the library and the bookmobile. While he did some stuff on the computer, I looked for good books to read!




That emotion was kept last night as I went to Aubrey and Dee's again and we spent the night making Chicken Fajita's for dinner and watching Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill! Doing these things are a nice distraction from the broken-ness that has become me!




guess as I look back at this kind of... introspective weekend, I realize that this is just the motions of life. It can take you by surprise. There are good things and bad things that happen to everyone, everyday and it's what you make of them and what you learn from them that will follow you for the rest of your life. As I take a look at myself, this broken record is being pieced back together and I'm slowly becoming the person I want to be! I've learned as I nurture my testimony with the simple little things we are asked to do in our every day lives, it truly gets you where you want to be. It doesn't happen over night and I realize this so for now, I'll keep trying to find that giddy school-girl feeling!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Standing Still....

Well I'm bored at work like always and Aubs tagged me so here goes....

The Rules: In Google Image type the answers to the questions below. Choose only one picture from the first page of results to represent your answer.

#1 Age- 20. So old, yet so young.

#2 Place I've been- DisneyLand!



#3 Place I want to visit- Australia


#4 Favorite place to visit- FishLake w/ the fam!





#5 Something you love to do- Listen to music! I love to listen to all kinds of music and interpret the heck out of lyrics!






#6 Favorite Food- Cereal! I LOVE cereal! This is my favorite isle at the store!




#7 Favorite color- PINK!





#8 Place I was born- Nephi, Ut....





#9 Current Obsession- Current? How about since I was a sophomore in high school... One Tree Hill!







#10 Something you collect- Seasons of One Tree Hill!!



#11 What are you doing right now- Wishing I was listening to this great new song I found yesterday by Buddahead called "Standing Still"! It's amazing!




I tag anyone who wants to be tagged! :)
Standing Still
You've got room to wear the clothes you want,
But there is no one there to show them off to,
This is how the past sticks to you.
There was a time you had inspiration,
A recipe for your life,
You were gliding over your youth.
All the ashes you spread,
All the love that you give,
That is who you are, how hard you break,
For the love you take.
All the fires you burn,
To dry oceans of hurt,
All the time you've wasted in vain,
And you're standing still.
You are tired and you're losing will,
You've got so much time to kill;
You've been running just to stand still.
Sometimes it hurts to scratch your skin,
But feeling pain takes your mind off it,
You wrap your arms and squeeze your bones.
You always thought if you loved enough,
Held it close for long enough,
You would never lose;
How wrong you were.
All the ashes you spread,
All the love that you give,
That is who you are, how hard you break,
For the love you take.
All the fires you burn,
To dry oceans of hurt,
All the time you've wasted in vain,
And you're standing still.
You are tired and you're losing will,
You've got so much time to kill;
You've been running just to stand still.
Oh, how life might take what dream may come,
How life might take what dream may come.
Ok, so I may seem like a broken record lately, But I'm just dealing with some stuff. Everyone goes through times like these so be patient because the light is beginning to break through the darkness!
xoxo Whitney




























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Stand In The Rain

"Stand In The Rain"


She never slows down.

She doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down

She won't turn around

The shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain You won't drown

And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain


She won't make a sound

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down

She wants to be found

The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down

So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain


So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down

Stand through the pain You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found

So stand in the rain Stand your ground Stand up when it's all crashing down

You stand through the pain You won't drown And one day, whats lost can be found

You stand in the rain

Friday, October 10, 2008

8 Things Tag

8 T.V Shows I Like To Watch

1. One Tree Hill
2. Lost
3. Pushing Daisies
4. Private Practice
5. Heroes
6. Gilmore Girls
7. 90210 (Sometimes. New and old)
8. Gossip Girl (It's my guilty pleasure!)

8 Favorite Restaurants

1. Olive Garden
2. Chili's
3. Fat Jacks (now Roy's)
4. Not a restaurant but Jamba Juice!
5. Rumbi Grill
6. Noodles & Co.
7. California Pizza Kitchen
8. Subway

8 Things That Happened Today

1. Woke up on time
2. Turned the heater on in my car on the way to work
3. Went to Chili's for lunch
4. Shopped online
5. Proved to my co-workers that I'm as blonde as I look sometimes
6. Packed to go home for the weekend
7. Planned to go shopping with Aubs after work
8. Called my mom who is on her way to St. George

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To

1. Shopping after work
2. Taking a long hot bath tonight
3. Sleeping in my own bed
4. Going to lunch with G-ma on Monday
5. Getting to see my niece on monday
6. The first snowfall
7. The Christmas season
8. The future

8 Things On My Wish List

1. A Family
2. Go To School
3. A New Car
4. A New Place To Live
5. Lots and Lots Of New Clothes
6. Getting Paid Better For My Job
7. New Make-up
8. A New Cell Phone

8 People I'm Tagging

1. Aubs
2. Whitnee
3. Lindsay
4. Em
5. Teresa
6. Kiersten
7. Amy T.
8. Amy R.

Monday, October 6, 2008

100 Things....

So Aubrey posted this on her blog. 100 random things about yourself. Well I'm really bored at work so it seems like the only thing I can do to entertain myself! Here goes....





1. I love the color pink!


2. I'm an only child but I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters, none of them step-siblings!


3. When I was little, I had a gap between my two front teeth where I could fit a quarter and a penny together.


4. I've read 4 Nicholas Sparks books in the last week... No I'm not a loser.


5. Fall is my favorite season! The smells, the leaves, Halloween... whats not to love?!


6. I will always be a Lucas and Brooke fan over any other couple on One Tree Hill.


7. Cereal is my favorite food! No joke. I could live off of cereal forever. Just not Raisin Brand. Eww...


8. I sleep on the floor in my new house. It's a horrible place to live and the mattress is a wannabe mattress, not a real one.


9. I love to put ketchup on my dutch oven soup.


10. Whenever I use the bathroom at someone else's place and they have a shower curtain, I always have to check behind the curtain before I can use the toilet.


11. I rolled my first car the day after my 17th birthday.


12. I am obsessed with getting new cell phones. I have to have one every few months.


13. I have an intense fear of my family members dying in car wrecks.


14. I hate Thanksgiving food! All of it but the rolls and homemade cherry pie.


15. I don't like steak.


16. Hair and teeth are the first two things I notice about people.


17. Right now, my hair is the shortest it's been since 6th grade.


18. My Dad and Mom are literally my best friends. My mom and I argue a lot but it's because we're so much alike. That and we both inherited the Irons stubbornness.


19. The day my family and I went to Disney World for the first time, turned out to be Gay and Lesbian day. I was 9... I don't remember much.


20. I have to pee 2 times every night before I go to bed. (I know you wanted to know that!)


21. I love trucks! Big trucks with big tires and a big lift!


22. Sophia Bush is my favorite actress of all time. I think she is classy and beautiful. A lot like Audrey Hepburn.


23. Every time someone sneezes and I hear it, I HAVE to say Bless You! So what would I say to an atheist person??


24. When I'm stressed, sad or frightened I rub my feet together continuously.


25. I absolutely hate Pontiac G6's.


26. I'm petrified of snakes. I can't look at pictures, watch commercials, touch fake ones...I would die.


27. I water skied for my first time this past summer.


28. I once had a dream where I dated both Chad Michael Murray and James Lafferty at the same time... Wow.


29. I love cake. Cake and ice cream are my favorite desserts. I LOVE cake!


30. In High School, My uncle was my principal, my cousin was my Spanish teacher, my Health teacher and my tennis coach, My Grandpa was on the school board, my brother was my English teacher and my mom was a Special Ed T.A.... talk about a small town!


31. My very first concert was 98 Degrees with Baha Men and Wild Orchid (Fergies old group)... ha ha ha ha ha


32. I always like 98 Degrees better than N'syc and Backstreet Boys.


33. I think all dumb people in Utah county bank at the bank I work at.


34. I had a crush on the same boy for 31/2 years in high school.


35. I'm going to the Carrie Underwood concert next month with Aubrey!


36. I HATE John Mayer.


37. My co-workers say I remind them of Pheobe off of Friends because I'm random and funny.


38. I HATE UTA busses... I hate driving by them, behind them... everything about them.


39. I still believe in Fairytales...


40. When I drive long distances, I sit with my left leg folded underneath me.



41. I want to nominate one of my co-workers for the t.v show "What not to wear" and another one for "10 Years Younger".



42. In highschool I had the nicest car out of all my friends and even though it's still a good car, now it is the crappiest of all my friends.



43. I have the 90210 theme song as a ringtone on my cell phone. Don't make fun, it's awesome guitar.



44. My pinky is so uncordinated that I've been on medium on Guitar Hero for like a year and a half and will probably never get on hard or expert.



45. My baby toes are shaped like "Cone Heads" and there is only a small part of a toenail on them.



46. I love eating cold pizza for breakfast while drinking orange juice.



47. I once was "making out" with a guy I was dating and got a bloody nose! Coolest experience ever!



48. I played tennis for 2 years in high school and taught tennis for 3 summers with my cousin and tennis coach, Jeff.



49. The shows I watch on t.v right now include: One Tree Hill, Heroes, Private Practice, Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl, Lost (when it starts in January), The Office, American Idol (when it starts), and Gilmore Girls and Friends on dvd!



50. I love being with my family. I would trade dates for nights to be with my brothers and sisters anytime.



51. My dream when I was little that I never told anyone about was to become a scientist so that I could find and cure for my brother and sister with Cystic Fibrosis. Then I discovered I hate science.



52. My Grandpa and my Aunt died exactly two years to the day, apart.



53. One of my favorite things to do when I go home on the weekends is to have a sleepover with my niece Cambree. This happens a lot!



54. I love my nieces and nephews more than anything in the world!



55. I love to eat pudding! I sometimes have a really hard time choosing between Vanilla and Chocolate and Swirl. It's one of the hardest decisions I have to make!



56. I ate baby food until I was like 9.



57. When I was younger, I slept on the floor in front of my parents bed every night until I was 7.



58. My favorite class I took in high school was "Street Law" from Mr. Morely. The next one would've been "College English" from Mr. Ellefson. That man was a genius. Then my brother and cousins classes! :)



59. I LOVE the Rocky movies! I could watch number 3 over and over!



60. I can't stand the smell of smoke. In Vegas, when we walk through casinos, I kind of want to throw up a little bit.



61. I love Jazz basketball! I sometimes want to marry Kyle Korver! I know my brothers would love it if I did! Fat chance!



62. I love fry sauce! I could have fry sauce on everything!



63. I hate posers... If you're a jock, be a jock. If you're a skater, be a skater. Just pick one.



64. Old men are my favorite! They are all so cute!

65. I hate fish! I hate seafood. Unless it's coconut shrimp, count me out.

66. Even though I love water, it makes me feel so healthy... Vanilla Coke Zero is my VERY favorite drink!

67. I've never had my tonsils out.

68. I was once a dead cheerleader for Halloween.

69. I was a brunette for 3 or 4 months. It wasn't a very good look for me.

70. My Grandma has blackmailing pictures of me when I was younger and running through her sprinklers, naked.

71. I was Miss Fairview 2005-2006, the same year my brother got elected the Mayor of Fairview.

72. I am obsessive about the fact that I am annoying to people that I am good friends with.

73. I love sleeping a room that is very low in temperature, with lots and lots of blankets.

74. My most prized possession is probably the CTR ring my parents gave me for my high school graduation.

75. This morning at 6 A.M precisely, the baby that lives below us started screaming and didn't stop for at least 35 minutes... feel bad for the babies throat, feel bad for my lack of sleep as well.

76. Every year around Christmas, I sit by the Christmas tree with just the tree lights on and read "The Christmas Box" by Richard Paul Evans. It's my own tradition.

77. I once saw Dennis Rodman in a Big and Tall men's store in California.

78. I had my very own Israeli stalker when I worked for Morgan Jewelers at the University Mall.

79. When I was little, after a family member's death I had to sleep with my door open because I was afraid they were going to come back and visit me.

80. I'd rather be with my family on New Years Eve, eating a good dinner and playing Bunco's than anywhere else!

81. Sleeping Beauty is my favorite Disney movie. Followed by Beauty and The Beast and Anastaisa... Is Anastaisa a Disney movie?

82. My sister made up the nickname "Whitter" for me, but now she is the only one I will let call me that because of an ex who use to call me that. If it comes from anyone else's mouth I get chills down my spine. Not the good kind of chills... the nails on a chalkboard kind of chills.

83. I love laughing. If you can make me laugh, I'll be your friend forever. If not, get in line.

84. I love high heels! I'm a high heel phobic!

85. My car is probably the messiest car on the planet. No, really. I live out of it. I keep saying "I'll clean it Saturday" or "I promise I'll clean it Saturday".... Saturday comes and goes and it doesn't get cleaned!

86. Mustache's are gross... DO NOT grow them.. Other facial hair is acceptable.

87. I hate hate hate Regina Spector. Thank my old roommates for that one.

88. I hate real Mexican food. I love fast food Mexican!

89. I once played the part of the girl on "The Ring" in a haunted house. I either had to climb out of a well or sit in a rocking chair, staring at a TV screen with playing white fuzz.

90. I didn't have my first kiss until I was a sophomore in high school. I forget, is that early or late now days?

91. I love weddings... why does everyone hate them?

92. While watching the Olympics, if someone from the U.S wins, I cry. Unless it's Michael Phelps... then I just stare, mesmerised.

93. I am terrified of clowns. Put a clown in front of me and I'll have nightmares for weeks.

94. I hate when guys text message before calling. It's so annoying. Call first.

95. I love the new 5 dollar bills! They have peach and purple colors in them! They make me happy!

96. I've had a dream about a married co-woker one time. Don't ask me who it is because I wont tell you. :)

97. I hate blue ink pens. They bug me. Thats all there is to it.

98. I really want an English Mastiff. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It's a dog almost as big as a horse.

99. Dirty Dancing is my all time favorite movie! "Nobody puts Baby in the corner..."

100. I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! I'm done!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Random tag....

I've been tagged to tell six random things about myself that most people don't know!

1. October is my favorite month out of the year!I love everything about it! The smells, the leaves, the pumpkin bread/ cookies, the sun shining while the air is getting chilly and most of all, Halloween! I love Halloween! To be able to dress up and be something that your not for a night is so much fun! Plus, the little kids and their costumes, and the sugar high in the air... I just love it all!




2. I love to write! Upon finding myself in certain situations in my life, I love to put my thoughts to paper. It comes in the form of a poem or song lyrics or maybe even a short story sometimes! Don't make fun.... Some people listen to angry music, I cry and write as my release.





3. I am an only child, but I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Try figuring that one out!





4. Unless I'm really tired, I'm a clean freak. The feel of organization and the smell of cleaning products is soothing to my soul. I think I inherited that one from my anal parents who have a whole room with special vaccume lines that no one can walk in without getitng yelled at!





5. I love blood! I think blood is so cool! Whether it's real or on tv... I just want to experiment with it! If it's my own blood, I tend to freak out and go on the verge of passing out!





6. I am a closet Jazz music lover! I think Jazz music is so romantic! The sound of the saxaphone makes me feel at home. When I was younger, we would have a Christmas party at my Grandpa and Grandma Ericksen's house (both of them have passed away). My Grandpa would pull out his saxaphone and enchant us with the sounds of "Sliver Bells", "Walking In A Winter Wonderland" and "White Christmas"... It is such a beautiful sound.





Now I tag anyone who reads this post!





On another note... I cut my hair! Last sunday as I was sitting at home, my long, unmanagable hair was driving me nuts! I couldn't get it to do anything I wanted and I had had enough! That night I decided I wanted to cut my hair and found a cut I liked. Me being impatient, the next day I made an appointment for that night and got it done! It's such a change but I love it! So there is this song thats been on my mind lately.... And being a lyric freak like I am, here are the lyrics!

All Fall Down- One Republic
Step out the door and it feels like rain
That's the sound (that's the sound) on your window pane
Take to the streets but you can't ignore
That's the sound (that's the sound) you're waiting for
If ever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
Whenever your world starts crashing down
That's where you'll find me
Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones
Take a breath, take a step, meet me down below
Everyone's the sameour fingers to our toes
We just can't get it right
But we're on the road
If ever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
That's when you find me.
(Yeah) Lost till you're found
Swim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate
Strong till you break
Know that we all fall down
If ever your will starts crashing down
Whenever your will starts crashing down
If ever your will starts crashing down
That's when you'll find (find) me
Lost till you're found
Swim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate
Strong till you break
Know that we all fall down
All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down
We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down
Lost till you're foundSwim till you drown
Know that we all fall down
Love till you hate
Strong till you break
Know that we all fall down