The Climb

Thank you to everyone for all your support during this difficult time. Losing two good friends is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Especially with them being so young and so amazing. Things are getting a lot better now. Not only am I mostly at peace with this now, but I have a great family and great friends who are helping through the moments of weakness. Please still keep their family in your prayers. I saw their brother Tyler the other night and where he said things are getting better, as you can imagine, losing 2 sisters, daughters, friends... is something that will take a long time to get through. 

For now, I'm just going to post the lyrics to a song that is describing me at this moment. Yes, it is a Miley Cyrus song :) When I get feeling better (yes, I'm still sick. Worse than before...) I will post pictures from the Hinder concert Sky and I went to as well as pictures from the Celine Dion concert I'm going to with Aubs, Lindsay and Whitnee!

The Climb- Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it,

that dream that I'm dreamin'. 

But there's a voice inside my head,

saying you'll never reach it.

Every step I'm taking,

every move I make feels...

lost, with no direction.

My faith is shaken,

but I gotta keep tryin.

Gotta keep my head held high...

There's always gonna be another mountain,

I'm always gonna wanna make it move.

Always gonna be an uphill battle,

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.

Ain't about how fast I get there...

Ain't about who's waitin on the other side...

It's the climb.

The struggles I'm facing,

the chances I'm taking, 

sometimes knock me down,

but I'm not breaking.

I may not know it,

but these are the moments that I'm gonna remember most.

Just gotta keep going,

and I gotta be strong.

Just keep pushing on.....

There's always gonna be another mountain,

I'm always gonna wanna make it move.

Always gonna be an uphill battle,

sometimes I'm gonna have to lose.

Ain't about how fast I get there...

Ain't about who's waitin on the other side...

It's the climb.

Tonight....

Life is short. 

That is a lesson I have had to learn this past week. In a tragic way, no less.

I guess I'll explain. Friday morning, I was looking online at work at ksl.com. There was a news report about 2 women being killed right outside of Fairview. It being my home town of course I was immediately concerned. While reading the story, I came to find out that these 2 women were from West Bountiful. My heart started pounding. I had friends who were from West Bountiful. No ages or names were given at the time. I proceeded to text my dad, asking if he had heard anything. He hadn't. I then text my good friend Kori, knowing her husband is a cop in Sanpete and wondering if he knew their names. She didn't know any information either. About 15 minutes later, I went back to look at the story and this time the ages were given. 19 and 21. My hands started shaking and I knew it was these 2 wonderful friends of mine. I text Sky, asking if she knew who it was. They were Sky's roommates and also good friends. When I saw her name flashing on the caller-id 2 seconds later, I knew for sure it was true. After hearing her broken voice say "Whitney, it was Shilo and Micah"... I tried to be strong for her. She was going to wait until I was off work to call and tell me but when I text her, she knew she had to call right then. I tried to be strong for her and also I tried to hold back the tears as we hung up and I had to go about helping my co-workers. About 5 minutes later I excused myself to go into the bathroom. Once I had shut and locked the door I fell to the ground sobbing and called my dad. He did his best to comfort me and to get me to calm down. 

I went back to work, calmly with bloodshot eyes, tearing up every once in a while. Finally, when everyone was back from lunch, I knew I couldn't stay there much longer. My boss was really supportive and let me leave. I went to my apartment, not sure what my next move was but just knowing that I had to go home. I had to be near my friends and family. I had to see Sky and Kaylyn. I rushed home to throw a bag of clothes together and began the drive to Fairview. On the way down, I didn't even want to turn my music on. It seemed like my mind wasn't even working. Once I came upon where the accident had happened, my eyes started tearing up and I knew I had to listen to something to get it off my mind. I remembered this song that I had recently downloaded and been listening to non-stop the past little while. I think I now know why. It's called "Tonight" by FM Static and it seemed to calm me down somewhat.

Emilee and I had been texting earlier and she informed me that she and Ben and Spencer and Abby had decided to go to dinner and a movie without their kids for Valentines Day that night. They hadn't yet found a sitter for all their kids. This was perfect for me. There is nothing more that I love than being with my nieces and nephews when I am having a hard time. So I volunteered and it was exactly what I needed that night. As Ben and Em dropped me off at my parents house (Who are in St. George), they knew I would be alone and offered that I could stay at their house. I declined but being alone with my thoughts that night and the next didn't prove to be the smartest thing I'd done. 

The next day, my dad called to check on me and I came to the realization that I know this happened for a reason. I cried as I heard him tell me that they must have been needed pretty badly in Heaven to be taken so quickly and unexpectedly. 

I had been keeping in touch with my girls but I was afraid to see them, for fear that I wouldn't be strong enough for them. For some reason, I feel I need to be the strong one for everyone. I put my fears aside, again practicing the thought that life is short and I shouldn't take it for granted, and went to Sky's house. We hugged for quite a while and just being with her was amazing for me. As we sat and talked with her mom and other family members about what had happened and how we had found out, it was brought to my attention that our other best friend, Kaylyn was supposed to be with Shilo and Micah that morning. She was going to stay at their house for the weekend. But her mom had called her about a family dinner they were going to have the next day and wanted her to be home. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt as though someone had punched me and knocked all the air out of me. I prayed and thanked my Heavenly Father so much that she hadn't been with them. 

That night I was at my brothers house for dinner and him and Emilee's step brother Brett brought up the accident over dinner. Suddenly I had lost my appetite and had to excuse myself because tears came to my eyes and I didn't want them to see me as weak. The rest of the night, just being with my family was healing for me. 

Sunday, I finally got to see Kaylyn. When I walked into her house we just held each other for a long time. Talking to Kaylyn helped. We both decided that Shilo and Micah would be upset if they knew how sad we were. They would want us to be happy and live life to it's fullest because thats the kind of girls they were. We talked about all our memories with them. It was really good to get it out. 

Anyone who knew Shilo and Micah would think they were some of the greatest girls they've ever met. 

They had a way of making you feel, confident and loving yourself for who you are. 

Shilo had the kind of personality where she would tell you something straight up if you wanted to hear it. She was very sweet at the same time. She also could get excited about anything. I remember one night last year when she and Cassie had High School Musical 2 on and they stood up and danced to one of the songs. They knew the full moves and everything. I don't know that I've ever laughed so hard.

 Micah is who I grew closest to this past 5 months that she lived at Snow College. She was the sweetest girl, always looking out for everyone. She was very protective too. They both loved kids and Micahs goal in life was to become a mother. I have so many great memories of them that I will cherish forever. In December, I was visiting them and they planned and surprised me by taking me to the hot pots down by Fillmore. I didn't have a swimming suit but that didn't matter. Micah made sure she had at least 3 for me to choose from and after putting it on and feeling self-conscious, she made sure to let me know how great I looked. She was always pointing out everyone's best features. And just a week ago Friday, I had been down there and I cooked everyone dinner... Micah decided that she and I should get married and I would cook and decorate because those are 2 things I love and she would clean because she is really good at cleaning. Later that night I just laid on her bed as she cleaned her room up a little and Kaylyn and Sky were there too. And we talked a little and then I found an interesting book and started reading it. She said I could borrow it over the weekend if I wanted because she wouldn't need it. Then she and Kaylyn left, while I was still just lying in her room reading. I decided to go to Sky's and go to bed because they had been gone for a while and it was getting late. If I had known that was the last time I was going to see her, I would've given her the worlds biggest hug and told her how much I loved her. 

She defiantly changed my life. She was a light in the darkness. She made me see how great I was and the kind of person I will strive to become. I will never forget her.

As I think about it, I know that they are in a MUCH better place now. Knowing that I will see them again has given me a lot of hope. At times I'm still sad... I know that the funeral will hit me hard and my best friends are whats going to get me through this. 

Life is short. We can't take any of it for granted. We have to live it to it's fullest. I want to live a life that I will look back and have so many things to remember, so many stories to tell. I also want to live my life so that I will be worthy to see them when that day comes. I know they'll still be here, always. I pray for their family and friends and especially for Drew, Shilo's boyfriend as they were going to get engaged this weekend. It'll take a while but I pray that they find peace and that everyone can take something away from this so that their passing wont be for nothing. I love you Micah Mattie and Shi Shi... Forever! :)

Tonight by FM Static

I remember the times we spent together,

on those drives.

We had a million questions,

all about our lives.

And when we got to New York,

everything felt right.

I wish you were here with me,

tonight....

I remember the days we spent together,

were not enough.

And it use to feel like dreaming,

except we always woke up.

Never thought not having you here now,

would hurt so much....

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

And every night I miss you,

I can just look up,

and know the stars are holdin you, holdin you, holdin you,

tonight....

I remember the time you told me about,

when you were eight.

And all those things you said that night,

that just couldn't wait.

I remember the car you were last seen in,

and the games we would play.

All the times we spilled our coffees,

and stayed out way too late.

I remember the time you told me about your Jesus,

and how not to look back.

Even if no one believes us,

When it hurt so bad sometimes, 

not having you here.....

I sing,

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

And every night I miss you, 

I can just look up,

and know the stars are holdin you, holdin you, holdin you,

tonight....

I sing, 

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up,

I need your loving hands to come and pick me up.

And every night I miss you,

I can just look up,

and know the stars are holdin you, holdin you, holdin you,

TONIGHT.....

Homecoming Queen...

Hey! So because I've been sick AND I left my camera chord at my parents house, this is going to be a short post with the lyrics to my FAVORITE Hinder song! Sometimes I feel as though this song pertains to parts of my life...  They performed it at the concert last weekend (Which was awesome by the way!)! So until I get my camera chord AND get feeling better... TTFN! 

Homecoming Queen- Hinder

It's been five years since I've seen her face,

She's the Hold Ghost lost without a trace

And now we're left with the what if's...

It's been five years since she left for LA, 

She's an angel with a dirty face

And it seems to me, she's a causality,

Of all the pressure, that we put on her

And now we've lost her for good....

It's such a shame, shame, shame

that a Homecoming Queen

was a lot like you and a lot like me

and she never walked on water

cause no one really saw her....

She was so adored by everyone,

When it came to looks, she was next to none

But loved partying and having too much fun...

Then she hooked up with the wrong someone 

And he promised her everything under the sun,

And it seems to me, she's a causality 

Of all the pressure, that he put on her 

And now we've lost her for good...

It's such a shame, shame, shame

that a Homecoming Queen

was a lot like you and a lot like me

and she never walked on water

cause no one really saw her...

Well I never knew you,

Wish I could've saved you,

From losers that drained you,

Before you got strung out...

With so much potential,

How could you let us down?....

It's such a shame, shame, shame 

that a Homecoming Queen

had a lot to prove and so many to blame,

she's just somebody's daughter,

just lookin for somebody to love her...

She's just somebody's daughter,

Just lookin for somebody to love her....

It's such a shame, shame, shame

It's such a shame, shame, shame.....

Can't Stop This Thing We've Started....

I'm sure you're getting sick of me blogging, but I saw this article... "25 random things about Facebook" and some of them had me laughing out loud so I decided to share it with you! Be excited... be VERY excited! (Ok... maybe just be a little bit excited....)

"It's not a computer virus, but for some facebook members, it's starting to feel like one. It's called the "25 random things, facts, habits or goals about you" and it seems all the kids are doing it. The Facebook notification pops up in your e-mail or Facebook "wall" with instructions to list these 25 things and tag 25 of your own "friends" to do the same.

The only thing lacking in this dubious invitation is the dire threat of a chain letter- that failure to comply means certain death in say, the next 25 days. Well turnabout is fair play. Let's see how YOU like it, Facebook!

1. Facebook fosters the illusion that every person you know, actually cares that you left your Nikes in the locker room at Crunch.

2. Nobody cares that you left your Nikes in the locker room at Crunch.

3. If you join Facebook to find out what your kids are up to, you might actually find out what your kids are up to.

4. You don't want to find out what your kids are up to.

5. Unless, of course, you want to find photos of your 19-year-old daughter making out with another 19-year-old co-ed for the edification of a bunch of 19-year old dudes doing beer bongs. (That's age 19 IF you're lucky.)

6.You can announce your divorce over facebook via the heart icon thingy.

7. DON'T announce your divorce on Facebook

8. Don't announce your divorce over Facebook for a number of reasons, the least of which is that all your "friends" will respond on your "wall" with sympathies that in a different era would've been delivered in privacy. you wouldn't console somebody by shouting across a room full of people. Why are you doing it on a Facebook "wall?"

9. You people take Facebook way too seriously.

10. A woman was killed after changing her relationship status on Facebook.

11. Remember that Burger King "Whopper Sacrifice" application that allegedly offered a free Whopper coupon for every 10 friends you dumped? Well, you probably shouldn't have dumped a couple of your oldest friends, two of which are hardcore vegans. At least one of them didn't find it hilarious at all and now they won't "re-friend" you.

12. If you join Facebook to find people you used to know, you're just as likely to find your middle school BFF Jill, as you are to reignite the passions of that one guy from Photography class who has been stalking you since junior college.

13. "Don't Get Botox"

14. Facebook can get you fired. Yes, you. Just like you are not that one person who can drive safely while talking on a cell phone, you are not that one person is in no danger of getting fired for something stupid posted by or about you on Facebook.

15. What's more, your boss is on Facebook. If you join, you're going to have to decide whether to accept his or her "friendship". If you accept, you risk losing your job for something he or she stumbles upon. If you attempt to play it safe, by not accepting your boss's "friendship, you risk losing your job for offending him or her.

16. Oh, and you're also at risk of alienating your oldest friends by bumping their rank in your "Always show these friends" box. We're talking your adult friends, like, in their 30's and 40's with jobs and kids and all kinds of grown-up responsibilities.

17. Your otherwise grown-up friends are angry at you for bumping their "Always show these friends" rank because obviously you're trying to communicate some kind of super secret Facebook message along the lines of, "I value your friendship two-people less today than I did yesterday." It's like watching your friendship stock plummet.

18. The esteemed widow of former Emperor of Malawi did not just send you a "friend" request, nor is she bearing a unique and prosperous offer straight out of Nigeria just for you.

19. And while we're on the subject, I've just been held up at gunpoint in London and I need you to send me $600 now! (I don't know what this is about)

20. Facebook is mostly concerned for "Your Privacy". And the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny are friends!

21.Don't connect your Facebook and Twitter accounts. People you haven't heard from for, like, seven years... people you never thought you were friends with... will leave lame and annoying comments on your Tweets.

22. It's like, hey, if you want to rekindle the friendship I never thought we had, call me or at least send me a private e-mail. Jeez.

23. Ok, the cool thing about having your Facebook and Twitter accounts connected is that your Tweets show up as your status updates. But then, if people respond on Twitter and maybe ask you something, and you respond on Twitter and maybe ask you something, and respond via Twitter, it shows up as your Facebook status, and that's annoying.

24. While you're sending "Zombie Challenges" to all your "friends" there's a guy in Egypt using Facebook to foment democracy.

25. Eventually, someone will post photos from your high school yearbook. Dang, your hair was big!

-Helen A.S. Popkin

Second Chance

So during this fantastic weekend that I had, I was reminded how much the fact that we have second chances has changed my life. On Sunday, my brother Spencer who has been a Bishop for 4 and a half years got released. (He's only like 33 or 34... pretty young Bishop)... Anyway, Spencer and I have never been that close. There is a lot of baggage to that story but since he became Bishop, little by little we have gotten closer. Well it all started during the opening prayer... I got this feeling inside of me. Something I can't really explain but it was something I had never felt before. Then, one by one as the few who were asked to share their testimonies with us, the feeling grew. By the time my brother got up, I was in tears. He bore witness of Christ and the Spirit in the room was so strong. I felt Christ's arms around me. I litterally felt his love more than I ever have in my life. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry! It was amazing. The feeling continued as the meeting went on.

The fact that I can feel that much of the Saviors love after some of the choices I made in the past is amazing. I am so grateful for the Atonement and the fact that no matter what happens, no matter where we go or what we do, we can ALWAYS come back. I think my testimony tripled in size yesterday and I just wanted to share it with the world! Cheesy but true :)
So... the STEELERS won the superbowl!
Can I tell you how happy that makes me? I'll admit, I was a little worried at a few points. The first being when Roethlisberger scrambled right end for a 1 yard touchdown and they challenged the runner broke the plane ruling, and the play was reversed! That sucked. From there, it only got better! I will give props to the Cards for the 64 yard pass from Warner to Fitzgerald for the touchdown in the 4th. That was a pretty sweet pass!
But the last touchdown of the game, made in the last minute by the Steelers was great! And Keisel catching the ball towards the end was... pretty much a highlight! If you don't already know, Brett Keisel is my brother-in-law's cousin! So we've kind of got a pull for him!
And... how cute is Santonio Holmes? He is one of the most darling black men I've ever seen!






Anyway, not only was the game great, but I had SO much fun playing games with all my cousins! I haven't seen most of these guys since Christmas and it was fun to catch up and just laugh and talk and of course eat all the goodies that were provided! (If you didn't know, Ericksen's are dang good cooks!) After the game was over, I stopped by my Sister's house for a while. Yes, I am proud to say Cambree and I played High School Sing It! She's a good little singer and it's so fun to watch how into it she gets! Also, thanks Ben for catching me off guard and secretly recording our performance... Or not! :)




Afterwards, Emilee and I played SingStar Pop Vol. 2. Now, if you don't know me... I LOVE to sing! I'll admit, I'm not very good but I can carry a tune and I am NOT tone deaf. My siblings and I (and their families) frequently hold Singstar compettitions. When it comes time for my sister Emilee and I to sing against one another, she can hold her own but rarely does she beat me. (Sorry Em, but it's true!) Well, last night I am proud to admit that Emilee beat me 4 out of 5 songs! Only but 110 points or less, mind you but way to go Em! Of course you do own the game so you get to play a lot more than I do but you ROCKED last night! :)

After going back home to my parents house, and taking a nice, VERY needed hot bubble bath... :) the perfect way to end the night was by watching 24!
Yes, I am adding another t.v show to my list... But in my defense, right now the only shows I watch ON TV are: American Idol (of course, but thats a different kind of t.v show!) and LOST... Of course I watch One Tree Hill every week but sometimes I can't catch it on monday nights so I'll just wait till I can download it. If I am bored and have nothing else to do... I'll try to catch The Bachelor.. (Let's face it... he's a hottie!) AND Tool Academy... (I'll admit, a little degrading but funnier than heck!) So I'm NOT a t.v addict like I have been in the past. Well... now 24 has been brought into my life and I'm pretty sure I'll be useless for a while! With the intentions of going to bed early last night because of the fact that I was driving up to Orem from Fairview this morning... I stayed up until like 3:00 watching this so far great, yet very addictive t.v show! Of course, the circumstances with which the show was brought to my attention were pretty great so I think I'll be ok losing some sleep for a while! ;) (By the way, thanks for that Brandt! Although, I don't understand it as much without you there, explaining whats going on to me!)




So all in all, this was a great weekend and I'm even more excited for next which will consist of:

-Driving to St. George with my bestie and listening to all the great music I own.. (one of my
favorite things to do!)


-Spending time with my beautiful Aunt Susan, who's house we are staying at... I haven't seen her since Christmas as well! Did I mention she lives by the Temple? Well I'm pretty much excited to see that because I haven't for a while!


-Shopping... Shopping... Shopping... Did I mention shopping?


-Being enticed to try BOBA... or at least HOPEFULLY being enticed to try BOBA ;)

-Hinder/ Theory of a Deadman concert!

-Finding a random Dixie church ward to attend on Sunday (I find these things fun when I don't know anybody!)


-Enjoying the Sunday drive home, again with my bestie and my music!


Yeah, it's going to be a great weekend!

Second Chance- Shinedown

(As you read these lyrics, just remember that every song has different meaning for every person and it may not be what is said in the lyrics, but what is said behind the lyrics....)

My eyes are open wideAnd by the way,
I made it through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always runningIn place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
[Chorus]
Tell my mother, Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise this is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close, it's only for today
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere
[Chorus]
Tell my mother, Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise, This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbyeIs a second chance
Here's my chance
This is my chance....