this picture was on the blog of one of my friends today,
actually, she always has things off her blog that i steal so Dee,
thanks for letting me fulfill my lifetime dream of
being a blog post stealer!
anyway, i took one look at this picture and the first thing i noticed, obviously was the dark clouds and the long, empty road. all i wanted to do was write, "my life" across the top and hang it on my wall.
yes, right now i feel like this road is long, dark, cloudy and currently empty.
ok, thats not totally true.
i do have the occasional car that will drive side by side with me,
frequently, but temporarily.
they always seem to disappear and i'm on this road alone, again.
even if they reappear that night or the next day...
it's the alone part that scares me.
i've never been good at being alone.
not that i've been in a lot of relationships in my life, but i have always
desired someone there.
whether it be family, a best friend or even a romantic interest.
at times when i am at my lowest point, i'm afraid to be alone,
not because i'm worried about what i will do if i'm alone, but because it just
hurts and scares me into thinking that i will continue to be alone on this road, forever.
this occasional car that drives next to me...
it fills me with hope.
it makes me feel so complete and unlike anything i have ever felt before,
but then it is ripped away again.
and it's painful.
but i'm willing to take the pain for it.
because after taking a second look at the picture,
i see the light.
the light that i want to see on my own road.
i can see that other car right next to me on this road when i glance at the light.
letting me know i'm not alone,
and never will be again.
forever.
i know none of you have any idea what i'm talking about
or what this metaphor stands for and that is just fine with me.
a lot of things are best kept inside of me.
i want to keep that hope.
i want to keep the image of that light and the car in my future,
down my road so i'm not alone.
i will wait for it.
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